Okie Octopus

Oklahoma

Cephalopod / Hoax

A horse-sized, freshwater cephalopod with sharp teeth that stalks teenagers in man-made lakes, whose entire existence was fabricated for a television mockumentary.

Etymology

Commonly known as the Oklahoma Octopus, it lacks any authentic Native American or indigenous naming conventions.

Anatomy

A massive, freshwater cephalopod roughly the size of a horse. It physically resembles an octopus with leathery, reddish-brown skin and a terrifying set of sharp teeth.

Ecology

Allegedly inhabits the landlocked, human-made reservoirs of Lake Thunderbird and Tenkiller Ferry Lake in Oklahoma.

Behavior

It acts as a submerged apex predator that specifically targets and consumes human teenagers during the summer. Folklore hilariously suggests it travels terrestrially between the two lakes, a 170-mile journey that would take a giant octopus 150 hours of continuous walking.

Mythology

Despite rampant internet claims of 'ancient Native American legends', the cryptid has absolutely zero historical footprint. The legend was completely invented by the Animal Planet mockumentary show 'Lost Tapes' in 2008, exploiting public gullibility regarding localized monsters.